I'm in the wrong degree program

I’m in the wrong degree program
Yes gentle readers, your humble scribe is in the wrong degree program.

I was listening to the local CBS television network affiliate in Los Angeles early morning news talk show before I went into work. They had a report that Hong Kong Polytechnic Institute had just launched a new degree program in, I hope you’re sitting down when you read this, bra design or bra studies. I’m not sure which is correct because the news reader was having a difficult time keeping a straight face.

It obviously has to be a Bachelor’s degree program. Who else would be more interested than bachelors? Maybe they could invent an easy off bra latch; that would be a big improvement.

Can you imagine how popular the lab sessions would be? No males would ever miss a lab session; you could bet the farm on that idea.

But, I got to thinking more about the degree program and came to the startling conclusion that having the course of study in Hong Kong is just all wrong on so many counts. I’ll only mention one of two reasons why it is wrong.

Asian women, as a general rule, are not as busty as European or North or South American women. A better place for the course of study would be Paris or Milan because it could be tied into fashion design as well.

Then, as I was having a Cobb salad at lunch today, I had a mental breakthrough and concluded that the Chinese were doing the correct thing with this bra design program. They are following the tired and true method of economic advancement for developing countries. Just look at the Japanese auto makers with the development of their versions of the All-American pick up truck. They started out with a subcompact size truck that was underpowered and had a very limited cargo capacity. Now, the Japanese auto manufacturers are producing a full size pick up truck that competes with the best that Detroit has to offer.

It came to me that the Chinese are going to start out with the small size bras and then gradually work up to the full size bras. What a shrewd long term marketing campaign. Before long, they will conquer this market as well.

More on Bras
I switched to another station only to learn the Japanese have invented a microwavable bra insert to warm that body part in the Winter.

Fascinating which leads to the question of what happened to American ingenuity and the ability to invent things. This struck me as being a rather obvious solution to an age old problem.

In the demonstration in the news segment, the Japanese model popped what looked like a small, circular gel pack into a microwave oven and heated it up. Then, she took it out of the oven and inserted it in a panel in her bra. Judging from the smile on her face, she seemed rather pleased with the warmth. I have no idea how long the gel pack holds the heat but it certainly looks like a promising invention.

Working Again
I started working as a consultant this morning. It is nice to get paid to tell other people how to do things and why they doing the wrong things. I have two projects to work on right now and there is the possibility that I can have my project work extended.

I was able to help the company’s chief financial officer figure out some 2006 budget inputs relating to one of the projects. He was uncertain how to plane the rollout and estimate the revenue stream. He only the estimated ending value for the new program I am developing.

I gave him two workable methodologies to create the growth pattern. I gave him an income forecast to use for the year and the supporting rational which was perfectly defensible to the board of directors. I also settled a question over how to classify the program.

Then, I had helped out, in a very minor way, with the some lending policy interpretations and provided a solution for the pricing of a loan request. The pricing was based on a solid logical model that everyone could agree on. In addition, I gave them a solid basis for the decision on the loan pricing that can be applied in future transactions.

The company I am working for has its offices on the ground floor of the building. No stairs to climb down in case of a power failure so that is nice. My office has a floor to ceiling window that looks out into a courtyard. I can see people going in an out all day long and this can be a distraction.

There are three or four cosmetics companies in the building. They employ, surprise, surprise, a lot of young women. But, this situation gets even better because two of them are Asian companies so they have hired Asian females and you all know that I am partial to Asian females.

Clearly an added benefit for a single guy like me.

The final benefit is that I have a concrete bench just outside of my office window where many of these young Asian females will come and sit during their breaks.

So far, everything is perfect.

As you might expect, all is not well in this courtyard form of paradise. The vast majority of the females who are sitting outside of the office are smokers and that leaves me rapidly losing interest.

And, I have not even included or rather excluded the ones with pink or bright red hair or bad tats or are wearing poorly shined combat boots with fish net stockings. Then, there are the Goths and that has always been a strong argument for me for birth control or celibacy. The idea of having some young person with bad and tasteless tats and more piercings than a wheel of Swiss cheese being responsible for my care when I get really old is so very disturbing for me.

That was most of my day gentle readers. I hope your day was as interesting as mine.

Be well and stay happy.