Depression

Depression
Depression is a terrible way to end the week.

But, that is how my weekend and week are ending. For the most part, Saturday was a less than swell day for me. One of my students who promised me that she would be in class did not make it to class. She claimed that she had to be with her sister at a local hospital who was having premature labor pains. Given all of the other stories she has told me, I find it very difficult to believe her.

Our classes are three hours long with a twenty minute break. All of the students know this; it is not a new procedure. Three of my Saturday students took a forty five minute break. I should have marked them absent for the day.

Sunday was looking up for me.

The Princess called me to return an email I had sent her during the week. This was an unexpected surprise. We talked briefly for maybe fifteen minutes. I would have talked longer but I had to get ready to have lunch with one of my old co-workers at 1:00 PM at our favorite restaurant, LA Food Show.

The Princess said I know you will have a good time there. She wished she could have joined us for lunch I think.

I got the Show early because that is my nature. I believe that it far better to be a bit early then to do be late. Being late is an insult to others you are meeting because you are saying that you do not care for them since you chose not to arrive on time.

I waited for fifteen minutes after our agreed upon meeting time to call my co-worker.

When I indentified myself, she said, “Were we supposed to have lunch today?”

“Yes.”

Then, all she said was, “I’m so sorry Charles,” over and over again.

There was nothing much to do at that point for me. I said something like life happens and there will be other days in April or May when we can try again and then we can include our friend Lisa who also used to work with us.

I had moved on by then.

Since I was at the Show, I decided that I could have lunch there, by myself, at the counter. I found a seat at the end of the counter and looked at the menu briefly. After a brief wait, the server showed up and I gave him my order.

After waiting five minutes in a less than full restaurant for a glass of iced tea, I gave up. I told the manager who was helping get food orders out to tell my server to cancel my order. The manager questioned my comment.

I said, “What part of cancel my order is confusing? I should not have to wait five minutes for a glass of iced tea.” Then, I put on my jacket and walked out.

At this point in the weekend, I was starting to feel badly. I decided to make one last attempt at having something go right for me this weekend. I drove over the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf for a large ice blended drink made by Tihana.

Tihana’s ice blended drink was perfect. It was the one thing that went absolutely perfectly for me this weekend.

Frankly, that is a very sad commentary for or on or about me.

While Tihana did an excellent job on the ice blended, it still did not remove my sense of depression and, to a degree, hopelessness. I don’t think I will be completely depressed for an extended period of time.

I didn’t have any lunch today. I just didn’t feel like having any food after the two disappointments at the LA Food Show today. My dinner tonight is likely to be sparse, if at all. In all likelihood, I will probably just go to bed early tonight and sleep.

This was not one of my best posts. It shouldn’t be a good one; I am depressed and I have every right to be depressed; it is my life after all.


Be well and stay happy.